Frank Renfordt

Hi Chad, love the song! I love Bluegrass and this one is well done -nice production!

Brent Baxter

Hey, Chad!  Thanks for sharing your work with us.  I dig the 1st 2 lines.  And I like the title, the fact that it’s a love song sung me/you, and the feel of it.

HOWEVER… why go negative in the chorus???  Dude… no.

Keep it positive.  Find something to say that she WANTS to hear.  Maybe something like “Oh, but I am just a man- I can’t fly away with you- but I will stand my ground- and be your rock if you want me to.”  Or something that says how you’d be anything she wants you to be… if you could.  But I don’t see any reason to tell this girl things won’t work out.

Or, at least if you do, I want to know WHY in the 2nd verse.  Why can’t you fly about with her?  Maybe that’s where you talk about your roots being here and how you hope she’ll stay with you and you can be her rock, etc.  But that still leaves you with a sad chorus.

I like the making waves across the ocean, then up above the clouds. That’s cool imagery.  Don’t like “going through the motions,” though.  That doesn’t sound fun.  That sounds just like… going through the motions.

Lot of good work in here, though.  Keep after it!

Hope that helps.  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Doesn’t have to be in-depth or authoritative- just your thoughts.  The best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback, after all!  Thanks!

James Simmons

I agree that going positive would be great on the chorus. I felt really engaged up to that point and it was like a movie with a plot twist that took me from feeling light and hopeful to disappointed for the characters. That’s my perspective as a man. I think a woman’s reaction might be stronger.
You could bring in some contrast.
The wind is not tangible. It can’t be held. I am like a rock. You can see me and feel me and I’ll never blow out of here. At night when we lay down, I’ll always be lying next to you…
Or when the wind turns cold for winter, I’ll always keep you warm, when the wind blows through your fingers I’ll be right here on your arm…cheesy imagery but something like that contrasting how the wind may sound wonderful but my tangible, touchable, reliable self will be better.
Really excellent melody and hook idea! Love it and could hear Paisley doing it.

Myrna Riquier

First of all, I liked it just because it is bluegrass. I also liked it because it has new subject matter. I haven’t heard this topic before so that is a really good thing. And the melody seems new to me too. It doesn’t make me recall some other song. And I didn’t find the chorus all that negative. I think the lyric speaks of a love, tells what he would/could do and then also explains what he can’t or won’t do. I see that as honesty out on the table;  the whole story. I hasten to say i am not a critique-er. I merely judge a song by how my ears like it.  They liked it. Good job Chad.

Ronnie Glenn

I agree “keep it positive” all the way through the song. The metaphors are great!  I did notice that the rhyming patterns in V.1-V.2 differ than V.3 and V.4. Verses 1-2 have the same “e’ rhymes. I like the clouds/down rhymes in verse 4 more than the rhymes in verse 3. They are the same sound rhymes as in the chorus.

I’m sure there’s a lot of bluegrass bands that would be interested in a song like this.

Keep up the good writing Chad!

Stephen Winnett

Hey Chad! Great tune, Im going to also agree with the positivity angle! All things aside, I really enjoyed the song, musically and lyrically. I dig Bluegrass and has a really cool melody and I really dug the lyrics in the verses. I also think it would be really cool if you went somewhat to Brents choice of chorus lyrics, I felt like the verses were clever and the chorus kinda dropped out a little bit. I like how Brent used the rock reference since rocks cant fly but showing her that even a rock is useful so its something you have to offer her even if its not what other things offer. Regardless, Im no pro, just my opinion but I really liked the song very much and thanks for sharing it with us. Wish you much success on your musical journey.