Co-write with Dan Harrison (vocals, guitars) and Elysse Yulo (production). This is a better mix, fixed some vocals from last version I posted. Thanks!
Any is fine. thanks
Production—solid and catchy!!!
Melody and Chords—imho, boring—in your chorus and bridge, you use ONLY 3 notes in the melody (C, D, E)—in the chorus, largely the same, except for an occasional G (and one lonesome B toward the end of the chorus).
Let me hasten to add, this is simply my opinion, and these things may not bother a number of folks at all.
A suggestion: sing the song to yourself WITHOUT ANY (I mean ANY) ACCOMPANIMENT (a cappella), and see if it doesn’t start to sound a little musically boring to you.
Anyway (and I mean this sincerely), best wishes with your songwriting endeavors!
November 01, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
Verse 1
Yeah I feel that buzz, you got my hopes up
But it’s you just telling me to come pick up my stuff
Well if I play along, that’d be the end of us
And I ain’t sure’n, I ain’t sure’n, I ain’t sure enough
Pre-Chorus
I dropped all those last fights, the you’re wrongs and I’m rights
All I have left are sleepless nights
Chorus
I’m over playin’ it cool
Over wakin’ up at 2am
Pretending I don’t need to see you again
I’m over reaching, to the side where you ain’t sleeping
And telling myself things that just ain’t true
Cuz I’m not over thinking ‘bout you
Not over, not over, not over thinking ‘bout you
Not over, not over, not over thinking ‘bout you
Verse 2
What I shoulda said, what I shoulda done
Rolling around my mind when it shoulda rolled off my tongue
Instead I hit the road, wish you coulda told me no
Even though I left, it’s my mind that can’t let you go
REPEAT CHORUS
Bridge
I know you said we’re done, but if you ain’t moved on
I’m sayin’, and prayin’ you’re the one
REPEAT CHORUS
0
Production—solid and catchy!!!
Melody and Chords—imho, boring—in your chorus and bridge, you use ONLY 3 notes in the melody (C, D, E)—in the chorus, largely the same, except for an occasional G (and one lonesome B toward the end of the chorus).
Let me hasten to add, this is simply my opinion, and these things may not bother a number of folks at all.
A suggestion: sing the song to yourself WITHOUT ANY (I mean ANY) ACCOMPANIMENT (a cappella), and see if it doesn’t start to sound a little musically boring to you.
Anyway (and I mean this sincerely), best wishes with your songwriting endeavors!
November 01, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Sandy Ramos:
Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Don Poythress:
Hit Songwriter
$75.00/Song
Lon Van Eaton:
Producer
$49.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Frettie.
×
Frank Renfordt
Congrats- nice work!
October 03, 2018
No members have liked this comment.