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I GOT EXCITED ABOUT MY WEDDING AND WROTE THIS ONE
pLEASE LEAVE FEED BACK
Hi Corey,
I take it that’s you playing all those instruments. The music bed has potential, just like your song. Looking over your lyrics, I don’t see anything that hasn’t been said before in a song. But don’t worry about that, love never stops growing. It’s always available to write about 24 hours a day.
I like the lines, After spending so much time together, I think we’ve weeded out the stormy weather. Dropping the “I think” would strengthen it because love has no doubts. Also, pay attention to your Point Of View perspective when telling your story.
Another thing that will help you is keeping it structured in an organized fashion. There’s no need to indicate intro/outro, music break inst, V1, V.2, pre-chorus etc. Marking your chorus is in my opinion is definitely a YES. That’s the heart of the song and that’s where the money maker shakes that hook to reel ‘em in. Plus, a lot of people read over the lyrics first before listening or giving feedback.
What does her love mean to you? Show me. How long have you been married? I bet you there’s 100s of songs during that relationship that’s begging to be heard. Keep up the good writing Corey. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it.
Happy Songwriting,
Ronnie
May 10, 2017
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Thanks for the feedback. The music on this was done with a yamaha psr-s950. I recorded it with a tascam 32 sd and mixed with reaper. It was done before my wedding about 2 years ago my wife and i dated for 14years before we got married. I intend to do a rewrite on it soon all fed back is appreciated. Im new to all this great to be part of the group
May 12, 2017
No members have liked this comment.
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MY LOVE
by Cooriokhen z Bourque
2 people fell in love on the day they met
it turned into a love you cant forget
theres been trouble yea just a few
everyone has them a time a two
on this day that we wed
we look forward to our new life ahead
I give you my heart I give you my love
and I thank the stars above
high as the sky deep as the sea
is what your love means to me
big as the world forever and a day
its what is said any chance we have to say
I love you
inst
After spending so much time together
I think we've weeded out the stormy weather
people cant believe its true on this day I will marry you
on this day that we wed
we look forward to our new life ahead
I give you my heart I give you my love
and I thank the stars above
high as the sky deep as the sea
is what your love means to me
big as the world forever and a day
its what is said any chance we have to say
I love you
high as the sky deep as the sea
is what your love means to me
big as the world forever and a day
its what is said any chance we have to say
I love you
outro
0
Hey Corey,
I like the tune quite a bit, it is pretty and very easy on the ear.
Lyrics are another matter; in my opinion they can get much better if you get rid of the most obvious cliches and add some fresh images, something personal/specific you two share that we relate to without necessarily having experienced it ourselves. Does it make sense?
Write on, my friend!
Jack
May 09, 2017
0
Hi Corey,
I take it that’s you playing all those instruments. The music bed has potential, just like your song. Looking over your lyrics, I don’t see anything that hasn’t been said before in a song. But don’t worry about that, love never stops growing. It’s always available to write about 24 hours a day.
I like the lines, After spending so much time together, I think we’ve weeded out the stormy weather. Dropping the “I think” would strengthen it because love has no doubts. Also, pay attention to your Point Of View perspective when telling your story.
Another thing that will help you is keeping it structured in an organized fashion. There’s no need to indicate intro/outro, music break inst, V1, V.2, pre-chorus etc. Marking your chorus is in my opinion is definitely a YES. That’s the heart of the song and that’s where the money maker shakes that hook to reel ‘em in. Plus, a lot of people read over the lyrics first before listening or giving feedback.
What does her love mean to you? Show me. How long have you been married? I bet you there’s 100s of songs during that relationship that’s begging to be heard. Keep up the good writing Corey. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it.
Happy Songwriting,
Ronnie
May 10, 2017
0
Thanks for the feedback. The music on this was done with a yamaha psr-s950. I recorded it with a tascam 32 sd and mixed with reaper. It was done before my wedding about 2 years ago my wife and i dated for 14years before we got married. I intend to do a rewrite on it soon all fed back is appreciated. Im new to all this great to be part of the group
May 12, 2017
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Jackson Lucas
Hey Corey,
I like the tune quite a bit, it is pretty and very easy on the ear.
Lyrics are another matter; in my opinion they can get much better if you get rid of the most obvious cliches and add some fresh images, something personal/specific you two share that we relate to without necessarily having experienced it ourselves. Does it make sense?
Write on, my friend!
Jack
May 09, 2017
No members have liked this comment.