Phillip Lemmonds gave feedback on Ka-Ching

Hey Bob, a catchy little number. Lyric wise, are people going to know The Bellagio is a casino?  Maybe just say the casino.  You’re going to make everyone look up adagio… LOL!  In general, usually not a good idea to use a 5 syllable word (metamorphoses). ... Read More

Phillip Lemmonds gave feedback on When You Found Me

I believe the “just” in V2 is okay, as you could substitute the word “only” and the meaning of the line wouldn’t change. In V1, you might could use it in the “star just fell” line,  but here’s another thought.  Rewrite the lines to something like: ... Read More

Phillip Lemmonds gave feedback on When You Found Me

Michael, I like the idea behind the song, but it feels a little long to me.  By the third verse, I’d kinda lost interest. I feel something is missing in the lyrics.  In V1, you’re broken, in V2, you found her, and in V3, she’s... Read More

Phillip Lemmonds gave feedback on Crying in the Rain (Work in Progress)

I really like the idea in this song about not seeing the tears.  I think you need to change the second line in the chorus as it takes away from the payoff in the last line. Don’t know if you planned it this way or not, but you... Read More

Phillip Lemmonds gave feedback on "NOW I'M A MAN"

Hey Robert… not bad, fits your voice perfectly. I think V1L2 should be “I had”. Couldn’t tell from the recording, but the lyric sheet has “I have”. In the chorus, I’d drop the “But” in the first line and all of the “And’s” that start each... Read More