Sometimes the things that we do are a greater expression of worship than anything we can sing or say. This came out of a time when I was really struggling, but felt God's pleasure in my unwillingness to give up.
Lay it on me! I want as much critical feedback as I can get.
Thanks for the specific and straightforward feedback Brent! I will definitely mess with the verses and try to clear up the message. Love the gut level reaction to it, or lack thereof I should say:)
When I write country I stick to the message pretty closely, I think. When I write this type of song, I often struggle with the tension between writing something authentic and emotional, and writing something that sounds like a sermon. I think the end result is often an ambiguous message, and I don’t always recognize it. I can feel that it is not necessarily “congregational” writing but have struggled to put my finger on why. I think you nailed it and that is really helpful! Thanks!
January 23, 2019
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Hear My Hallelujah
When I’m scared to walk the road you’ve called me down
But I walk it anyway
I know you hear my hallelujah
I know you hear my hallelujah
Chorus
When words are not enough to say God be praised
I know you hear my Hallelujah
When my life becomes the evidence of my faith
I know you hear my hallelujah
When I’m prone to hide the broken parts of me
But I lay them in the light
I know you hear my hallelujah
I know you hear my hallelujah
CHORUS
Bridge
And I won’t stop declaring your unfailing love
Even though my words will never be enough
So let my worship spring from somewhere deep in me
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Hey, James!
Thanks for sharing your song with us. I like the title- nice alliteration. I like the chorus, too. But, man… I want more examples in the verses. For me, you haven’t sufficiently set up that hook to slay me. I’d say at least double the 1st two lines, which would give us 4 examples in the song. Still not a lot, but twice as much. I like the idea of it, but I don’t think you’ve explored it deeply enough yet.
There’s some cool stuff here, for sure. Keep at it. I hear a little Rich Mullins influence, maybe. (And I have mad respect for Rich and mean that as high praise.)
Hope that helps. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Doesn’t have to be in-depth or authoritative- just your thoughts. The best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback, after all! Thanks!
January 23, 2019
0
Thanks for the specific and straightforward feedback Brent! I will definitely mess with the verses and try to clear up the message. Love the gut level reaction to it, or lack thereof I should say:)
When I write country I stick to the message pretty closely, I think. When I write this type of song, I often struggle with the tension between writing something authentic and emotional, and writing something that sounds like a sermon. I think the end result is often an ambiguous message, and I don’t always recognize it. I can feel that it is not necessarily “congregational” writing but have struggled to put my finger on why. I think you nailed it and that is really helpful! Thanks!
January 23, 2019
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Brent Baxter
Hey, James!
Thanks for sharing your song with us. I like the title- nice alliteration. I like the chorus, too. But, man… I want more examples in the verses. For me, you haven’t sufficiently set up that hook to slay me. I’d say at least double the 1st two lines, which would give us 4 examples in the song. Still not a lot, but twice as much. I like the idea of it, but I don’t think you’ve explored it deeply enough yet.
There’s some cool stuff here, for sure. Keep at it. I hear a little Rich Mullins influence, maybe. (And I have mad respect for Rich and mean that as high praise.)
Hope that helps. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Doesn’t have to be in-depth or authoritative- just your thoughts. The best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback, after all! Thanks!
January 23, 2019
No members have liked this comment.