This is the first song I have written. I am currently 12 years old and would like to get into songwriting. I also have a sheet music pdf file if you are interested. The lyrics are attached also.
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Verse 1
Scared to stand up
Trying to act tough
Tried to be strong
Couldn't do that for long
I was afraid
Didn't know what to say
Chorus
Determination
Is like an ocean
Coming strong
Meeting headlong
Ever moving
Never stopping
I can't be afraid
'Cause this is my day
Verse 2
I have one goal
And its filled my soul
This is my time
This moment is mine
I will not move
I will not change for you!
Chorus
Bridge
I've got a fire
It won't go out
I can climb higher
This will happen now (x2)
Chorus
Verse 3
I persevered
My head became clear
I might be sore
But I'm ready for more
I've made my mind
I will not be defined
Chorus
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Hello, Alayna! Thanks for sharing your music with us! I’m glad you’re here. Not having a vocal on the demo you posted makes it a little more difficult to provide feedback, but I’ll do my best.
I like that your song has a positive vibe and positive message about determination and believing in yourself. Your 1st verse ends (lyrically) on a negative- you couldn’t be strong for long and you didn’t know what to say. But the chorus talks about your determination and how it’s like an ocean. There’s a disconnect there. I’d stick with a more positive message throughout the 1st verse. Yes, talk about how you’re scared to stand up - but you do, anyway. You’re trying to act tougher than you are. That’s all good. Just keep with painting the picture that it’s tough to do the right thing- but you ARE doing the right thing, even though it’s not easy. That’s determination.
Just my 2 cents. Again, there’s some good stuff going on here. Keep on writing!
August 15, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hello, Alayna! Thanks for sharing your music with us! I’m glad you’re here. Not having a vocal on the demo you posted makes it a little more difficult to provide feedback, but I’ll do my best.
I like that your song has a positive vibe and positive message about determination and believing in yourself. Your 1st verse ends (lyrically) on a negative- you couldn’t be strong for long and you didn’t know what to say. But the chorus talks about your determination and how it’s like an ocean. There’s a disconnect there. I’d stick with a more positive message throughout the 1st verse. Yes, talk about how you’re scared to stand up - but you do, anyway. You’re trying to act tougher than you are. That’s all good. Just keep with painting the picture that it’s tough to do the right thing- but you ARE doing the right thing, even though it’s not easy. That’s determination.
Just my 2 cents. Again, there’s some good stuff going on here. Keep on writing!
August 15, 2017
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