In Franklin County, Virginia
They called them whiskey trippers
Someone had to keep the drunkards sipping
With White lightning in a jar
Was faster than their cars
Illegal but it only made them want it more
She was bright eyed and bold
As the story is told
She was running on the wrong side of town
Her engine it revved
Just as red as she bled
In an attempt to get away from the Feds
Run run run Wille run
With our rum rum rum Willie run
Try as they might
And oh what a sight
But her car it seemed given to flight
No matter your views
On a barrel of booze
Bet against her you're likely to lose
Run run run Wille run
With our rum rum rum Willie run
Oh there after her
Oh but she faster
With a gun to her head
But She'd rather be dead
Then to give up her rights to the Feds
She's the first on the scene
As the sirens they scream
A parade that seems fit for a queen
Run run run Wille run
With our rum rum rum Willie run
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In Franklin County, Virginia
They called them whiskey trippers
Someone had to keep the drunkards sipping
With White lightning in a jar
Was faster than their cars
Illegal but it only made them want it more
She was bright eyed and bold
As the story is told
She was running on the wrong side of town
Her engine it revved
Just as red as she bled
In an attempt to get away from the Feds
Run run run Wille run
With our rum rum rum Willie run
Try as they might
And oh what a sight
But her car it seemed given to flight
No matter your views
On a barrel of booze
Bet against her you're likely to lose
Run run run Wille run
With our rum rum rum Willie run
Oh there after her
Oh but she faster
With a gun to her head
But She'd rather be dead
Then to give up her rights to the Feds
She's the first on the scene
As the sirens they scream
A parade that seems fit for a queen
Run run run Wille run
With our rum rum rum Willie run
1
Hey, Patrick! I like the movement to the song- that it isn’t a slow ballad. I got a little confused by the rhyme scheme- to my ears, it felt like the 3rd and 6th lines of the 1st verse should rhyme, but didn’t. Then it moved to triplets as the song progressed (which I liked). But it felt uncertain and “off” till the rhymes settled in. I got kinda confused at the end. “With a gun to her head” made me see here in the clutches of the law. Then sirens were an ambulance? “First on the scene?” I wasn’t sure what was going on. I had to think about it too much. I think you’re painting a picture of her racing through town (or wherever) leading a “parade” of police cars. That’s cool, but it wasn’t clear. You could say, “Put a gun to her head…” and I’ll know you mean it more metaphorically. And maybe say something like “She’s making a scene” or “she’s fleeing the scene” or “she’s leaving the scene” or even “her headlights, they gleam/beam” as the sirens they scream to paint more of a picture of the car chase.
Just my thoughts. Overall, I like the feel, and Willie is an interesting character. Nice work! Thanks for posting!
January 23, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Patrick! I like the movement to the song- that it isn’t a slow ballad. I got a little confused by the rhyme scheme- to my ears, it felt like the 3rd and 6th lines of the 1st verse should rhyme, but didn’t. Then it moved to triplets as the song progressed (which I liked). But it felt uncertain and “off” till the rhymes settled in. I got kinda confused at the end. “With a gun to her head” made me see here in the clutches of the law. Then sirens were an ambulance? “First on the scene?” I wasn’t sure what was going on. I had to think about it too much. I think you’re painting a picture of her racing through town (or wherever) leading a “parade” of police cars. That’s cool, but it wasn’t clear. You could say, “Put a gun to her head…” and I’ll know you mean it more metaphorically. And maybe say something like “She’s making a scene” or “she’s fleeing the scene” or “she’s leaving the scene” or even “her headlights, they gleam/beam” as the sirens they scream to paint more of a picture of the car chase.
Just my thoughts. Overall, I like the feel, and Willie is an interesting character. Nice work! Thanks for posting!
January 23, 2017